#passable caption

[selenasgirltiffany21]

[rainscenes]

the fact that the stupid repost has nearly as many notes as my original gifset. it's not even that i expect anyone to recognize reposts like that so i can't blame them for reblogging it but even as someone who really doesn't care about note counts it does get incredibly frustrating to put effort into something and have someone else get credit for it - or worse, put effort into something and have someone repost it in a worse quality but get even more interaction. but whatever. whatever

[ambivartence]

M.O.N.T fighting! BAE173 fighting!

[n0tsketchyy]

Headcannon that Alfred has a secret Instagram account. He just posts about the insane household accidents at Wayne Manor with literally no context. 

His most popular post is simply captioned "Master Tim set the kitchen on fire attempting to make toast. Again."

Somehow, the account has over 500,000 followers of people growing increasingly invested.

His other popular posts include:

Muddy footprints acrross a gorgeous ceiling: “I have many questions about how Master Jason's boot prints came to be on the ceiling of the east wing corridor. He refuses to explain beyond claiming it was 'definitely Tim's fault' and that 'gravity was being unreasonable today.' Master Bruce has requested I not ask further questions.”

A photo of numerous coffee mugs hidden in bizarre locations: "The ongoing archaeological expedition to retrieve Master Tim's forgotten coffee cups continues. Today's discoveries included one inside a houseplant, two behind the grandfather clock, and one inexplicably on the chandelier."

A broken window with an arrow through it: "Master Damian's archery practice has once again violated our agreement about 'appropriate indoor activities.' Master Bruce has been informed."

A ceiling covered in colorful splatters: "Master Dick insisted his acrobatic skills would allow him to carry an entire birthday cake while performing a triple somersault. The ceiling disagrees."

An image of a completely disassembled grandfather clock with parts meticulously arranged on the floor: "Master Barbara asked for the time. Master Timothy decided the clock was 'running 0.002 seconds slow' and required immediate intervention. Dinner will be delayed until the main entrance is passable again."

The east wing covered in rubber ducks: “Master Dick claimed it was 'for science.' When pressed further, admitted it was retaliation for Master Jason's previous week's glitter bomb incident. Have scheduled additional therapy sessions for all parties involved.”

Alfred never mentions Batman or vigilante activities, but the posts are so outlandish people straight up have conspiracy theories about them.

Follower: "Time travelers. It's the only explanation for how they survive. They redo the timeline when things go wrong."

@ ManorMishaps: "If time travel were involved, I would hope they'd prevent incidents rather than merely surviving them. The toaster budget alone would benefit from such intervention."

Follower: "Alien research facility. The purple slime? The color-changing ceiling? ALIENS." 

@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you've been watching too many science fiction programs. Though I must admit the ceiling phenomenon continues to baffle our contractor."

Follower: "These are clearly stunt performers for action movies. No normal family could cause this much property damage." 

@ ManorMishaps: "An interesting theory. However, I've yet to see any of our incidents recreated in Hollywood. They lack the imagination."

Follower: "Wait, is that a BATARANG in the background of the third pic???" 

@ ManorMishaps: "I believe you're seeing the shadow of an unusually shaped serving spoon. Nothing to see here."

[amaracocks]

Disgusted by some people, who post things like this

urgh

"Yes im a sissy yes i will submit to a mistress no I WILL NOT!!! pay a tribute come real or get lost!"

I can understand this from the stand point of those that have been scammed by those that indulge in findom +Tributes

BUT not all Mistresses are the same, I know from experience its like finding a needle in a hay stack.

Mistress TsAbbeyChase @abbeydaze is the needle. She used to co-own a popular fetish dungeon in the midlands, which I visited a few times😛 she is the real deal when it comes to a passable trans mistress. No findom | no tributes, chats on a regular basis, sets me daily tasks and keeps me busy.

She also creates here, we all love her captions and hypno...yes? and has been around for a while abbey-chase

I have no problem supporting her patreon, because I love what she does and what she gives us/me in return. without your support these decent mistresses and content creators will disapear

it infuriates me, would you hire an experienced teacher for say your kids and then say, hmm I'm not paying you..don't think so

The same can be said for an experienced mistress, you are paying them for their time and experience

[hypequeenves]

A/N: Below I will attach the demo. But it does come with the disclaimer that firstly, it is my first ever time making a piece of music and secondly, I wish I could afford to get a proper voice actor for Ves, but this is just for fun. So yeah you have to deal with my talentless voice. Keeping this in mind my Grandma did tell me it was 'more than passable' so I'm gonna believe her and post it. Just don't be mean I am not Ves, and I do not have the confidence of a God. That all being said, here you are:

CLOSED CAPTIONS BELOW

Opening: The sound of ringing, the phone is picked up. "Hello? The big G.D. is that really you? Oh well, I gotta couple of things I wanted to say to you". Verse One: Born hopeful, it's a test of patience Since creation, taught to be complacent Prayed at your alter, still no invitation Seems I've scorned, you need some vindication?

Been to long, don't need your explanation Seems you're biased, just an observation Most judged unworthy of Just Salvation? Now I'M looking for some vindication

Pre Chorus: Spent my whole life on my knees for you Now I am prayin' to someone new  You judged me, in a world that's a scam He says I'm guilty, cause he knows who I am

Chorus: Your just another man who feels incomplete Forget the alter, I'll bring you to your knees Knuckles bleeding, I will make you repent Do you hear that? That's the sound of your decent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Just a little bonus under here, I wrote down a bunch of the bloopers of random nervous cusses and swears I was making trying to record this. If you've made it this far down I hope it gives you a laugh.

"This need to be sung by some who's… just not ME"

"GOD I can't even say my own FUCKIN lyrics GOD FUCKEN DAM-YOU-F-STUPID PIECE OF SHIT" "This is getting to 'fuck me in the assshole' territory".

"Fuck me in the HOLE- *unintelligible angry noises* -FUCk it DeEP and HarD"

"I can't even fucken' fuck bro - WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IF I CAN"T EVEN FUCKIN FUCK BRO?!"

"I hate my STUPID AUSTRALIAN ACCENT WHY COULDN'T I BE BORN SEXY?!"

[scholarinbookland]

Media Literacy 101

One important fact that consumers of media should all be aware of: everyone and every piece of content, no matter of what medium the content consists, has bias and some level of narrative. Humans, however, are not naturally good at distinguishing actors from their preferred or most famous roles, especially when it comes to genres like reality TV.

I got into Jimin of BTS first for his music (thanks, Spotify recommended!), and then for his dance. So I’m not discounting his or any of BTS’s artistic gifts when I say that the ratio of music output to non-music output makes their primary job reality TV stars (or as they’ve called themselves, “entertainers”).

As someone who only ever watches reality TV in social settings (except for Great British Bake Off), I’ve always been skeptical of those who view it as “not acting”. Reality TV is one of the more difficult forms of improvisational acting that makes a profit. Sure, producers, editors and camera crews give the actors a cushion in providing usable material, but most paid actors have a script, not a rough path to follow. I know reality TV does retakes like normal acting, and sometimes lines are scripted or fed to the actors, but they still are encouraged to improv and play off of each other’s reactions. Therefore, even poor reality TV acting is more difficult than the role of your average daytime soap opera actor.

Which is why I am skeptical of anyone who insists that shows like Run BTS are all natural and proof BTS can’t act. BTS, on average, are fairly passable actors, but the point of the show isn’t to succeed at the tasks, it’s to entertain the viewers. All of Run BTS’s running gags, like how team Kim Seokjin always wins and JK is good at everything he tries, are included to entertain, and to push a narrative.

I’d like to go down a list and analyze every member’s acting skills judging by what roles they have been assigned for Run BTS and how similar it is to what we know of their off-camera personalities, but I’m too hopelessly Jimin-focused to complete that task. When he’s on screen, I’m paying attention to him alone. So I’ll just analyze his acting in the Run BTS Village episode arc.

In these episodes, Jimin is one of three spies, alongside V and Suga. However, V and Suga have minimal screen time in the final cut compared to Jimin. The production crew also have Jimin reveal to the camera that he is being disingenuous at the close of part 1.

Call me utterly whipped for Park Jimin or too trusting, but I audibly gasped when he was revealed to be the spy. Not just due to the fact that I didn’t suspect him until he gave an evil grin to the camera, but also because the way he chose to do it was so funny and brought the audience into his enjoyment of the task. Rewatching the way he manipulated the others in part 1 after the reveal made it so obvious how often the editor captions downplay every trait of his that isn’t being cute. I was fully on his side in Part 2, mostly due to the way he included the camera in his conspiracy.

Judging solely by the spy skills in this episode, I would say the acting levels of the spies are Jimin, Suga, and V in order, with me judging their ability to deceive based on screen time where they are actively deceiving the other members. I personally believe that less screen time means that their footage was seen by the editors as more obviously suspicious, especially when they show the spy reveals at the conclusion of the storyline.

The way the locker clue in the episode basically spelled out that Jimin was the spy confirmed it for me: Jimin is a good enough actor that they’re actively trying to make him look like a bad actor. I suspect they are doing this to solidify fan’s impression of him as a sweet, adorable, hardworking goofball when that’s more likely less than half his personality. To be clear, I’m not saying that he’s an actor on level with most famous or even trained actors, but his comic timing, body control, and tendencies for treating Run BTS like an episode of The Office (insert Jimin Halpert meme) make the show much more enjoyable than if he didn’t decide (or agree with the production crew) to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of entertainment a good 70% of the time.

I think I come at this issue differently than a fan who knew him through BTS first, because I saw the Who music video, then SGMB, then SMF Pt 2, and then Like Crazy, so I saw a lot of range in his ability to portray various emotions immediately without encountering the Run BTS subtitles until after I’d already see him be able to inhabit various characters much more convincingly than your average musician in their videos.

I saw him lovesick and longing, then cheerful and goofy, then acting out a deep internal struggle through dance, and then switching between drunkenness and despair before ever finding out he wasn’t considered even a decent actor. I’ve seen worse actors in Hollywood blockbusters, to be honest. Then when I watched the behind the scenes for each music video I was shocked by how instantaneous the switch into character was and how fast he hopped out of it to hype up his exhausted dancers in SMF Pt 2, for example. It left me the impression that, like most people, he has different masks for different purposes or interactions, and the fan-directed mask is to emphasize being goofy, sweet, and adorable over recognizing the brain that clearly has artistic depth.

My sources of this impression are almost entirely original content and not fan-made content. The two exceptions are Rise of Bangtan, which I watched and thoroughly disagreed with in its choice of cherry-picking clips for a narrative, and TheJiminVideos on YouTube, who source their clips and I’ve spot-checked for misinformation. I’d honestly recommend even die-hard, long-standing Jimin fans check out their videos, because they take a comprehensive look at Jimin even before debut and try to debunk a lot of misinformation without shading any other members. The only thing I’m not 100% sure of in their claims is Jimin having a 128 IQ, because I have seen the clip where he said that and A) he said it jokingly, B) he was matching JK’s answer, and C) I’m 131 as of second grade IQ tests and that man is definitely smarter than I am.

I’ll edit this post if I get any further information that supports or disproves my understanding of this topic, but I hope anyone who reads it understands that I am not calling Jimin or BTS fake or disingenuous, but rather entertainers who maintain their own safety and personal boundaries by establishing a separate persona for with fans can engage.

Lack of media literacy leads to a world where acknowledging that people can see different things in the same media and still be valid is anathema somehow, so if you disagree with any of my assertions in this post, let’s have a calm discussion without ad-hominem attacks.

[avaantares]

Hey, C-drama pals, can anyone tell me where to watch Justice in the Dark (光·渊) episode 9+ with English subs that 1) actually translate all of the lines and 2) make decent sense (i.e. aren't MTL)?

The only copies of the new Japanese broadcast that I've found so far are raw*, only intermittently captioned, or auto-generated (and therefore largely incomprehensible). I can still follow the story, especially having read the book, but I would prefer to have all of the dialogue subbed.

If anyone has a link to decent subs, please share! Thanks! <3

* meaning Mandarin with Japanese subtitles, as broadcast. While I speak passable Japanese and am just starting to study Mandarin, I am not proficient enough to process both languages at once, especially in real time. Also the fact that the furigana for some kanji are just rendering the phonetic reading for the corresponding hanzi HURTS MY BRAIN. (I did once watch a series in Mandarin with Spanish subtitles, which was also a little brain-hurty, but written Spanish is easier for me to skim since it uses a more familiar alphabet. I still have to concentrate on my kanji reading.)

[selenasgirltiffany21]

[ans4jbs]

It took great feats of IT tweaking (that I might never be able to recreate) to get A Life’s Worth to play on my laptop with passable English captions. After one episode, it has been worth it. Edvin is amazing per usual, but this is also a story worth telling.

[rangerpanties]

sorry it's hater time but the ls dunes instagram account posting style is so unbecoming of them imo. maybe it's just my cynicism toward the way band social media pages tend to be ran in general or how sharply it's in contrast to mcr's approach but idk. a group of middle aged men who make music that is passable but not remotely noteworthy in comparison to any of the other music they've made in separate projects doesn't really scream [picture of the band captioned "Thanks for the love on our new song ❤️ What's YOUR favorite thing about Old Woulds?"] to me

[male-to-less-male-derogatory]

I've rewritten this into the style of HP Lovecraft. Because reasons. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZLYDChmfO4 for where I've narrated and captioned it!

The most unfortunate of dating stories, I must recount, is the incident involving the shoe.

During my high school years, my closest friend was under strict parental supervision, forbidden to engage in courtship without the presence of another couple to oversee his actions. This was no pure case of progenitor protectiveness, as madness seemed a marked feature of the family line. Much like ichor from a stone, the unreasonable can precipitate no reason.

In my junior year, after a rather dispiriting breakup with a quasi-girlfriend, I eschewed the notion of dating, much to the dismay of my friend: He had found favor with a young lady he had encountered within a house of law. He persistently urged me to re-enter the social arena of dating, not out of concern for my well-being, but to further his own romantic endeavors. After weeks of resisting his incessant entreaties, I was finally worn down by this proposition: he would arrange both date and expenses, so naught but my attendance would be required. In hindsight, I should have declined. An event premised on absurdity of such sort could hold no kindly fate in store. And yet, he managed to further complicate matters.

The arc of his moral descent remains obscured to me: whether sinking desperation or an eager plunge brought his measures about, it is immaterial. He contacted a girl from his religious congregation - a girl profoundly besotted with him - inviting her to a romantic outing. The implication that he would be her partner remained unspoken, but not unbroken, as I was informed me he'd found me company for his plans. I would not learn of his transgressions until weeks past the event; I would have stopped this travesty had I known of it, and I would scream that solemn vow to even God and all His Angels - and likely will with my dying breath.

On the day of reckoning, my frugal preparations proceeded with minimal fanfare. I donned my favored attire, comfortable yet sartorially offensive: shorts of basket ball, flops which flipped, and a Baja hoodie. Though it afforded me great comfort, it rendered me a spectacle of eccentricity.

Upon arriving at my friend's abode, I collected him and his date before proceeding to my own. It was at this juncture the farcical nature of the evening began to unfold. As I approached the door, my date's initial exuberance turned to disappointment, then disgust, and finally, anger. Unaware she had been deceived as to her prospective partner, I felt my wardrobe and its levity had been unjustly maligned.

Seconds passed in mutual appraisal afore the door was slammed in my face. The terror my friend radiated mixed with our baffled paralysis for the eternal heartbeats before the door once more opened.

Her father, a man of imposing demeanor, invited me inside, explaining that his daughter was upstairs and would require some time, which we would use to talk. We did not talk. We did sit. He sat across from me, meticulously cleaning a pistol - a gesture I could not decipher as either a threat or merely the manner in which his age and sort of man was to indulge in fidgeting. My offer of aid in this cleaning was rudely rebuffed, and so I simply observed, judging his skill to be middlingly adept.

When my date finally descended, her fury was beyond my ken, though not beyond my recognition. Attributing her ire to my appearance, I endeavored to compensate with chivalrous gestures. Having escorted her to the car, her father called me back to the door, leaning into the most sacred margins of my personal space to issue a warning: "Whatever you do to her, I will do to you."

True bewilderment, in its most elevated form, consists not of lacking rationality, but of Reason overwhelming all else as it did in that moment. Three such truths this bestowed me: Firstly, and to the detriment of the patriarch's character, his passable display of pistol maintenance had indeed been a threat. Secondly, even I in the midst of my 'tism intuited that no romantic overtures were fated to occur. Could he truly believe in a triumph of passions between myself and his daugher, or even one… of lusts? Only then did the third and least welcome line of deduction sink in: was this man threatening my person with a bout of the fucking? In my throes, I gave my only response:

"I can't get pregnant."

So thinking to express his machinations for a farce, I felt protected by my confidence in the separation of spheres: the Veil between our world and the Omegaverse would preclude the patriarch's work from coming to fruition.

In that instant, the nature of insanity was forever clarified to my interlocutor: One does not turn insane when, for a single instant, comprehending the vastness of truth - it is the following moment that renders the mind to shards, when one has to fall back to mundanity, forever altered and yet uncomprehending of oneself. I, however, had countless experiences with such esoterics, and my bearings returned in time to make a vehicular escape while the father was yet regaining the function of speech - though what he lacked in alacrity was more than compensated for by the volume and pathos of the words he left in our wake.

In our era of blessed darkness, ignorant to mobile communication technologies that might have called her home, my date merely felt a moment of perplexion before her scowling could grace the deserving party and myself once more. We attended a display of improvisational comedy, an experience the others felt to be marred by my anxious, uncontrollable laughter.

Following the show, my friend suggested a walk in the park, a proposition soundly rejected by my date. Knowing what fate had already befallen her, I felt a great sense of mercy and released her a safe distance away from her home.

Left to chaperone my friend and his date in a park, I climbed a rope tower 30 feet in height, seeking a natural panopticon with which to distance myself without forsaking my duties. However, my friend, oblivious to my intentions, intruded upon my tower of solitude, followed by his date. The mercy I had shown that night was not bestowed to me, as I sat there while their sappy and sopping affections occured well within audible distance, and my powers of dissociation revealed their value once more. When some collegiate members of our age cohort began shaking the spire my tormentors and I sat upon, the opportunity to flirtingly soothe and comfort was not lost on my friend, motivating me to descend and engage with the rude accosters of our unhallowed peak.

After resolving the disturbance to raised middle fingers, I returned to my car, the day's chaos finally overwhelming me. Soon, the students felt a whim to climb up, prompting the core duo of our uncomfortable tricycle to climb down and return to the car, where my heart was hardening to a conclusion. I might not have been able to salvage the memory of that day, but I could brighten its ending with an indulgence of righteous pique. Instructing my passengers to avoid any untoward endeavours, I set out for the tower and began pilfering the shoes left by the college students in their ascent. Then, I realized that the appearance of theft would undermine the purity of my motives. As such, I returned only the right shoe of every pair, gave myself a 100-foot head start, called out "nice shoes, assholes" and punctuated my escape with a diminutive jig.

To all who might heed this caution: college students are swifter than one might anticipate. Despite my head start and their descent from the tower, I found myself a mere five seconds ahead by the time I reached my vehicle. I flung the door open, glanced into the backseat, saw no one, tossed the purloined shoes to the back, and heard two "ow"s as confirmation of our collective's completeness.

My friend and his date emerged moments later, having been engaged in… peculiar activity in the backseat, invalidating my singular request. They clambered forward to inquire about the origins of the shoes, whereupon I confessed to my act of larceny. They responded with noncommital well-wishes, which I accepted with the tact befitting my education: "Speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?"

And at that point, for the first time in his life, I believe my friend was actually embarassed.

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[cakesexuality]

I found a Google Slides file of when my friends and I were planning a PowerPoint night that still hasn't happened and mine was how we would fare on Drag Race and I can't find any captions for the slides so I have hardly any idea what anything means and I haven't touched this document since January 2024 so I don't remember my logic behind a lot of it

Like I think I'm saying here that J would come in in cosplay for his entrance, R would be a hot glue gun girly, J would beat our asses in the design challenges bc he went to school for fashion, R would be a goofy weirdo in the photo shoot, I would churn out something passable in the design challenge bc I sew but don't design, I would know exactly what to do in the photo shoot bc I've literally been told I should go into modeling... help??? I don't quite understand?????

BUT OF COURSE I WOULD PUT MYSELF AS THE ELLA VADAY OF THE GROUP FOR GIRL GROUPS

[naritaren]

Finished this hat today. I think I'm going to keep this one for myself because of the time/materials/difficulty involved. I'm not happy with the seam on the back. Unfortunately, the tutorial video does not have a voice over and is only captioned in Russian. The yarn in the tutorial video is a gray blue against a gray background. Yeah. It's passable with how I did it.

Pattern: Interlace Hat by Kochkina Svetlana

Yarn: Malabrigio Rios

Pom: TheFireflyHook on Etsy

[firjii]

Watched "Supernova" because a space movie with Angela Bassett sounds like a really good idea in theory. She is indeed good, there's some pretty space scenery, and the music is passable. But holy hell it's messy and unbalanced otherwise.

The only other woman on screen is mostly there to fixate about wanting to get pregnant. Dense technical phrases often spoken very quickly + weird overall sound mixing = largely incomprehensible without captions (just my luck that I picked it up on DVD and it was a version without them).

The actual science portions of the story kinda had potential but were wayyyyy too rushed to make an impact on you. I feel like it might have come across better as a miniseries with some time to be methodical and flesh things out, but that's a big "might."

And of course the plot is chock full of nods to blatant horny scifi tropes, and dudebro ones at that. Not quite a waste of an hour and a half of your life, but IMO only watch if it's free, you don't have other things to do, and you're bored of actual good movies.

[selenasgirltiffany21]